A Penny for Our Family

We had fun hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park this 4th of July.  Afterwards we enjoyed watching fireworks in Estes Park, Colorado.  We're still feeling our sore muscles after hiking 5.8 miles at elevations of over 10,000 feet above sea level.  Yesterday we hung out at home.  I picked cherries from our cherry tree in our backyard and made a homemade pie.  In the late afternoon we invited Jay's parents to come over and help us eat the freshly baked pie.  Wish we could have celebrated with Penny.  Hopefully, we'll get word soon from the Thailand government that we can come over and pick up our daughter.  Enjoy these photos our hike to Nymph Lake, Dream Lake, Lake Haiyaha and Alberta Falls.

Here are some photos from our wonderful trip to the mountains.  We went to places like Cripple Creek, Salida, Gunnison, Marble, Glenwood Springs and Rocky Mountain National Park.

I’m thinking of you as I’m sure your birth mom must be, too. We’re both wondering how you are. We’re both wondering what you are thinking about right now. We both wish we could see you and be with you. I wish you knew that you have so many people thinking of you right now as you are turning 13 years old. We hope and pray that you receive our birthday gift soon and realize how much love is sent along with that package. We really wish that we could have celebrated your birthday together with you in Thailand. Hopefully, soon! Someday the waiting will be over.

P.S. I'm sorry I didn't post this on Penny's actual birthday, the third. But, we were celebrating her cousin, Linnea's 23rd birthday at that time.

I kind of have a love-hate relationship with computers.  I'm not all that techy.  I was kind of forced into having to learn about them as director of Odawara Christian Center.  That was definitely learning by trial and error.  It was quite stressful as if I had a problem I'd have to call the help center in Japan.  Not only was I unfamiliar with the technology terminology in English, I had to somehow figure it out in Japanese.  All of the computers we had at O.C.C. were Macs.  So, that's what I'm most familiar with.  When I came back to the States and re-enrolled in college courses I again was forced into having to learn about Windows computers.  I admit the class I took helped fill in a lot of gaps of where my knowledge was lacking.  Well, now I discovered that we'd need to get a new computer if I wanted to view photos on blogspot.  That's because my "old" laptop, at 7 years old, was too old to upgrade to the latest OS (operating system).  So, we couldn't keep up with the upgrades happening on certain websites. With our new computer we purchased last weekend we can now view everything on the internet at an amazingly fast speed.  So, I'm thankful to keep up to date on everyone's adoption blogs, complete with photos.  I'm presently working on creating a Mac-based website with a blog that, once published, will be private.  If you want to view it you'll need to type in a username and password to be able to view our website.  We've been told that it is not safe for us to publish public info about our daughter on the internet.  That's why I've not been posting her photo nor revealing her real name.  I've just been using her American nickname, Penny.  As we get closer to traveling to Thailand we'll look forward to showing photos to friends and family on a private website.  So, please let us know if you'd like to be invited to view this private website.

We actually stayed at home for most of this Memorial Day weekend.  It ended up being a four-day weekend for me because I took Friday off.  I used my day off to go shopping for birthday gifts.  I bought a card and necklace for Penny's birthday (next Tues. June 3rd).

Today I am more thankful than usual for the gift of life.  It started out with hearing the tragic news of how the Stephen Curtis Chapman family lost their youngest daughter in a freak accident caused by their older son.  I'm sure they are being surrounded by countless prayers.  Then at about noon people in the neighboring town of Windsor, CO were fleeing for their lives from a deadly tornado.  Please check out the following website for more news about the twister.  http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/05/22/colorado.tornado.video/index.html?eref=ib_topstories

Jay and I had a memorable weekend with my parents and brother, Brian.  They arrived on Friday afternoon and came and hung out with my preschoolers for an hour.  That night we went out to eat at the Black Eyed Pea restaurant.  On Saturday Jay and Dad borrowed a friend's truck with a hitch to go pick up the tiller that we had rented.  I went to a green house and grocery store with my mom and brother to pick up various bags of compost, manure, top soil, peat moss, etc.  We came back and I helped spread all of the lovely stuff onto the garden plot that Dad and Jay had tilled up.  After lunch my friend, Tomoko and her son, Shoichi, helped me to plant vegetables.  We planted corn, peas, egg plant, tomatoes, zuchinni, watermelon and pumpkins.  That night Jay's parents came over to eat a meal with us.  Jay had gotten a ham.  While we were planting the garden my mom had baked some strawberry rhubarb pies.  We all had a nice meal together.  The next morning Dad got up early and cooked a big breakfast for us.  Then we went to our church's early service so that we could get to Denver in time for the afternoon pro baseball game between the Colorado Rockies' team and the Minnesota Twins (my family's favorite team to root for).  We had a fun and safe rivalry going on rooting for opposite teams.  In the end, our Rockies came out on top.  Sorry, twins fans!  We did a little shopping, ate out once more and then had to get to bed.  For my family decided to get up early on Monday morning and drive all day to get back to Sioux Falls (an eleven hour drive).  Jay and I had to go back to work.  It went way too fast.  But, it was a very fun and enjoyable weekend.  Thanks, Mom, Dad and Brian for all of your kindness and generosity!

To be very honest with you, this Mother's Day is a hard one for me.  Of course, I am very thankful that Jay and I have both been blessed with wonderful mothers.  We are even more blessed that they are both in good health.  But, my heart is also grieving.  No one, but those going through it, I suppose, can quite understand it.  It has been a struggle to see the relief on mother's faces when they drop off their kids at our preschool and I end up mothering them all day long only to say, "Good-bye" to them as they leave with their "real" mothers.  There's grief in my heart knowing that others are traveling to Thailand and we are still waiting to see our daughter.  I felt grieved when the nice-meaning man at Japanese church honored mothers by talking about those who have born children.  What about those of us who can't bear children but want to raise them?  He mentioned that we are all so thankful for our mothers who gave birth to us and raised us.  I was thankful that the five year old little girl who was adopted from China wasn't in the room.  How her heart will grieve as she grows older and realizes that she'll never know her birth mother.  I was grieving for the 127 million orphans worldwide who cannot share that sentiment the man mentioned from the pulpit.  And I know it sounds really silly but part of me grieves knowing what it is like to be able to bear a child in your own womb.  I'll never know what that's like. It makes me feel kind of sad that I won't know what it was like because my daughter wasn't inside my "tummy", as my preschoolers say.  In fact, I've already missed out on the first thirteen years of her life.  And, yet, I want to hold her tight and tell her that I love her.  Oh, why does all of this red tape have to trail on forever?  I wish others knew of the excitement for us expectant parents.  But, there is no tell-tale sign of a growing belly to remind people to wish me a Happy Mother's Day.  What a strange place to be in, to feel like a parent and yet you don't quite feel like you're welcome to this celebration of Mother's Day.  And, yet, I get hugs from kids and get called "Mommy" on a daily basis.  And then there's this infinite wait to hold my own daughter in my arms.  Jay thinks God is preparing us for adoption since, as teachers, we feel like surrogate parents to so many kids.  It's not an easy calling, but I think we are blessed to share in what it's like to understand the heart of our adoptive daddy in heaven. our Abba Father.  My grief really hit me hard this morning when I awoke from a dream that seemed so real.  I dreamt that I was pregnant.  It felt so real that it took me a moment to realize after I awoke that this is physically impossible.  They say this kind of grieving is normal after a hysterectomy.  I've also read that it'll make me a better, empathetic adoptive mom, since my daughter will be grieving many losses, as well.  Won't it be divine when we get to heaven and there'll be no more losses, no more good-byes?!!